I should be sleeping right now since I want to change my body clock. Change it to something "student-like". But then, I can't so..why not write 'til I feel sleepy?

Hmm..so looking back, at my life, the things I had done, the people I'd met..I realized that I never did something BIG. Like something that I'd really be proud of. Something so extreme (positive or negative) that I'd never forget 'til my skin's all wrinkly. I never went out of my shell. Sure, I may have played my guitar on stage a couple of times because of music school, but my heart wasn't into it. I was playing just to get it done with. I live my life in haste. I don't live in the present. It's either the past or the future. Thinking about those moments, I realized that there were a lot of instances wherein I could have done something more. Damn, I have a lot of "could haves". From now on, I'm gonna try my best to give my heart on the things I do. No matter how small or big the task might be, nothing beats giving your 101% to the things you love doing.

Next, the people who may have came, stayed, or are now..gone. I'm the type of person who's not comfortable being around new people. I'm not always the one who says a simple "hi" or "hello". I dunno. It's always hard for me to open up my thoughts or feelings to someone. Therefore, those who don't really know me that much see me as a snob, someone intimidating, or just has high standards on everything. Others are even scared to make jokes in front of me just because. It's absurd, but I can deal with it somehow. I only have a small group of friends who really know what's going on in this little head of mine. People who know that I mess up and make a fool of myself loads of times. People who know that I'm sentimental and cry over sad, sappy movies or tv shows. *le sigh* And I'm thankful for them. They don't make me feel weird or awkward about myself. lol.